A heart condition (I)

The warrior was tired. She had just got back from an intensive visit to Phnom Penh (tbc). All the muscles in her body hurt. So she went to the gym. Pilates first, the yoga with her favourite teacher the happy boxer. As she was just a bit late and the locker would not cooperate, she missed out on the pilates and started running on the treadmill.

CNN. The following images might be a bit disturbing. Yeah right, is what she tought, just having visited the Genocide museum and seen the torturing rooms and the pictures. The many pictures…Then CNN showed the footage. Shot on a mobile phone. Some fourty guys. Police watching. All around this girl who lay in the sandy ground. Her arms up protecting her head? I cannot remember. Feet kicking her. Stones thrown at her. Blood. The CNN header said: News: 17-year old girl stoned to death. Iraq. The story was that she allegedly had a relation with a non-muslim. Later, accprding to CNN, the people found out she never had that alleged relation. The warrior with difficulty withheld her tears.

Yoga class starts. Her first friday class in three weeks again. Mountain pose. Only now she feels how tired she is. She cannot keep her balance standing like that with her eyes closed. Sun salutations. …Bleep-bleep-bleep…. There is this guy next to her. …Bleep-bleep…Obviously not a regular, as she has never seen him before in her class …bleep…and as he does a sort of table pose whenever they do the downward facing dog. …bleep-bleep…Looks like a standard posh Chinese business man. He has no clue.
He does have a heart rate monitor. The warrior can hardly believe it. A heart rate monitor. In yoga. She just saw the guy do the kick-box class. Yeah, then a monitor might come in handy. But during yoga?? The bleeping starts to get annoying. Does the guy really not understand he disrupts the class. The class that is oddly empty, whereas normally it is jam-packed. The teacher should have intervened already. Let’s wait five minutes.

After five minutes, nothing happens. Ok, the warrior takes no shit and thus takes action. Softly she whispers, can he please turn of the sound? It is a heart rate monitor, he says. So I see, she says. Silence. He is not going to turn it off!! Anger boils up. She keeps her voice soft but determined. She will have her quiet yoga class. In the seven years she has done yoga never ever has she experienced anything like this. You can choose to continue using the bleeping device, only do know you are irritating me and that I cannot relax in this fashion.

He starts to turn off the sound of his device. The bleeping of this action is ear deafening. BLIP, BLIP, BLEEEEEEEEEEEEP. Silence.

Child’s pose. The stress releases. And so do the tears. She tries not to think of anything. Not of the tiredness, not of the busy program after the class, not of the things she saw in Cambodia, not of the girl who she saw being stoned to death at television while keeping up her fitness level (feeling like a complete fool). Still, the feelings boil up and come out into a silent but strong river. Anxiety and sadness about what happened, the unbelief and amazement about how the people dealt with and still deal with such sorrow and harshness. The life we are leading and how we still manage to be unsatisfied with what we have and with the potential in our own lives. It helps. The class continues with warrior poses and ironically the warrior remains locked in her childs pose which veils her tears. Five minutes she feels better already. Tears are dried up, and she thinks nobody noticed the thing. She looks at her teacher, who smiles his always happy smile, and she smiles back.

(to be continued)

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1 Comment

  1. Hey warrior, very moving story (and I like the title). Strange isn’t it, that the only way forward after such feelings seems to be to recollect oneself, put on a smile, and get on with our daily lives again… What else could one do?
    (And go-go-go for the warrior who takes no shit and thus takes action, I wouldn’t expect anything else from her!)

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